Guilty Housewife
November 8, 2005 If anyone has been wondering where I have been off to for the past week and a half, I am here to tell you. We have been having our kitchen redone. This has been a project that has been developing over quite some time, but I was totally unprepared for just how displaced I would feel during the actual demolition and installation of my kitchen. It is one thing to pick out what you would like for a new house, but it is quite another when you are trying to transform an existing kitchen in a fifty-year-old house you are currently living in. I am very blessed to have a husband that realized how important it was for me to have a kitchen that wasn't more than ten years older than myself and had actual drawers in the slots for drawers. We also feel very blessed by God to have the means to do something about the situation. It has just been a rocky transition for me, though. I seem to keep having to learn that I don't take to change very well.I feel somewhat awkward talking about this since I know there are those of you out there who would be happy to have a fifty-year-old kitchen without drawers. I was very happy to have my kitchen and I am struggling with the usual feelings I have about not deserving so much in a world where many have so little. I grew up in a home where we seemingly never could afford anything. So, when I would receive something I had dearly wanted for my birthday or Christmas, I always felt guilty. I struggle all the time with feelings of guilt when it comes to spending money.
Last year, when we were able to put new windows on our home, I didn't feel quite so bad as I do now because it was a home improvement that also would help lower our power bill. It was something that was a blessing for all of us. This kitchen just doesn't feel the same. I am the mother and wife. The kitchen is supposed to be my domain. Especially since it is where our washer and dryer are kept. Unfortunately, though, I heartily dislike cooking and I am not the neatest housewife. Why should I get a new kitchen with all new appliances if I haven't even proved myself worthy of the old kitchen? This is all very grim.
When my husband expects me to be overjoyed and brimming with love and affection for him and our family, I am sitting here depressed. Do I dare let myself be happy? I am not sure I even know how to be happy about this. So, once again, I feel guilty.
I believe I need to spend a little time in prayer. Maybe then I will be able to tell you more of my kitchen story.
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Comments:
Never underestimate the power of a well-designed, functional, and beautiful kitchen! :) You'll cook at home more, enjoy your home more, and save money all the while! Don't feel guilty for investing in the home God gave you to create a place you all love to cook, eat, learn, and love! :)
We redesigned our kitchen in Texas at our second house, and the other two houses we owned had brand new kitchens that didn't need to be re-done. I can say that all three were such a huge blessing when cooking, having parties, and entertaining family and friends. We also did a lot of our school in the kitchen. It is a natural center of gravity for the house.
If we buy an older home out of state, the first thing I would re-do is the kitchen (if it needed it). Unless there was paint that needed re-doing. I couldn't function with ugly colors on the wall! :) We went in a house a few weeks ago that was painted in every room in the most ugly color combinations possible!
Posted by: heather at November 9, 2005 4:30 PM
Well, now I don't feel so guilty for not sending you any Christmas gifts over the years. Leave it you your little brother to make you life a little easier.
Do not look at this as just a kitchen. Look at it as growth for the family. Stop thinking about it as something for YOU, but something for your children and husband (his cooking is much better).
There is nothing better than seeing a family grow into its own. Building a kitchen, improving the home, making their lives better.
Would you rather live in a three bedroom mobile home, or your house? They provide the same thing, a roof over your head, but you feel better giving that home to your children and family. There is no need to feel guilty about anything like that. It's not like you are putting in gold trimmed doors with diamond studded handles.
I say this, but I can't even keep my "dorm room" of a home clean. But, then again... I'm going to die a lonely old man anyway. No need to build a home for a family.
Posted by: 凯尔 at November 9, 2005 5:40 PM
Hey. First, we too, are redoing our 50 year old kitchen, but slowly, as we're doing it ourselves, as cash is available. And I can never find anything, and it is quite disconcerting. Second, sounds like you have a hard time feeling you "deserve" anything nice. Well, we don't "deserve" anything. Not even the air we are able to draw breath from. But God gives us that, and his mercy, and the chance for redemption because he loves us. Certainly not because we "deserve it". You know we don't. Technically, we "deserve" death. But He is gracious, and apparently, so is your husband. Accept your gift and enjoy it. Give your husband a gift by showing him you enjoy it. You don't have to "prove" yourself with neatfreak housekeeping or loving to cook, or being a "perfect" believer, to receive what God has for us. Through Him, and through your sweet hubby!
Posted by: allison at November 9, 2005 6:54 PM
Whenever guilt like that creeps in on me, I just decide to Thank God for his blessings, and take a leaf out of Mother Angelica's book. You never know what God is going to ask you to cook for others in that kitchen!
Besides, those who are grateful for a 50-year old kitchen would also be content knowing that one day God will bless them with drawers that don't droop too!
Posted by: Gidget at November 13, 2005 7:22 PM
Oh, my! Did I say my drawers were drooping?! *giggling*
Thanks to all of you for your encouragement, by the way. To be honest, it was somewhat unexpected. I had thought I would end up being chastised for not counting my blessings. I must remember that thanking God in all things means even the very good things. That I should learn to accept his gifts with a happy heart.
Posted by: Firefly at November 14, 2005 12:53 AM
Now! What you really need to do,in your lovely new kitchen, is catch on to how much fun cooking _really_ is!
Posted by: Miss Roxie at November 18, 2005 4:28 AM
I'm cursed with the guilt thing to, but in such a different way. I'll trade you. Sometime I could just pinch you, augh, what the heck is deserving??? When you stand back and look over the years do you not think you got your share of the lumps to be blessed with such a great thing? (not that God works that way, but it is almost as if you could be deserving if you'd had more rough spots in life) I've see you be so grateful during the worst of times, when most can't see how to be grateful and here is a truly wonderful thing -- Just tell Him thank you :-) then go fry me an egg sandwich with cheese no mayo. xxx000
Posted by: Liz at November 18, 2005 4:48 AM
I can relate. When we take guests over to see the new house I find myself constantly apologizing for its size. I feel guilty about how big it is, how many rooms it has, how nice the kitchen will be, how much money we're spending when people are starving all over hte place and don't have good places to live.
But I don't see why you do that. I've met you. *You* deserve nice things.=)
Posted by: DeputyHeadmistress at November 19, 2005 10:25 AM
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