Even So
December 5, 2006
I have been pretty sad this week. My mother is in the end stages of an Alzheimer's-like disease. When I was growing up, my mother had seizures that couldn't be diagnosed as having been caused by anything that her doctors could find. About ten years ago, it became obvious to me that something else was going on with my mother. Two years later, she was diagnosed as having Alzheimer's. She was eventually tested and found to be lacking the gene that is normally found in Alzheimer's patients. None of this really matters to me anymore. I am just telling you so you will know.
I have grown up with a mother who has never really been well. Physically, her body was typically quite healthy, but something has never been quite right with her brain. Knowing exactly why doesn't seem so very important. When I speak of my mother's illness now, I just say that she has Alzheimer's because it is easier. Nobody asks for the particulars and nobody would be able to tell the difference anyway.
My father takes care of my mother at home. In August, he suffered a heart attack and had to have emergency, quadruple bypass surgery. My father actually drove himself to the doctor's office that afternoon and was rushed by ambulance to the hospital. By the time my sister was notified and got to my parents' house, my mother had fallen out of bed and was on the floor of their bedroom. She had been there for quite a while.
I went to stay with my father after he was allowed to go home from the hospital. My sister was taking care of my mother at her own home since she lived in town. I had planned on staying with my father for a few weeks hoping to help him get well. In the middle of my first week there, I called my husband on his cell phone since I couldn't reach him at home and it was late in the evening. He was with our daughter in the emergency room. Eight hours away from me. As it turned out, Blossom had to have an emergency appendectomy. I thank God that my husband is such a wonderful and capable father and that he has such a good relationship with our girls. I can't imagine how I would have been able to bear to be so far away from my child during such a major event in her life if he hadn't been with her the entire time. She had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and my husband stayed on a cot near her bed the entire time. As soon as she was safely in the care of some of our good friends, he came to get me. He was exhausted. I was torn between wanting to care for my family in two different places at once. I ended up only staying with my father for a week. My mother came home a few days before I left. My father would not hear of her going into a nursing home.
As it turns out, my mother can't even stay in a nursing home because she doesn't have a "medically treatable" condition. So my mother is at home right now. She will not eat. She cannot see or walk or speak. She just screams all the time. My father, feeling defeated and exhausted, finally tried to get my mother into a nursing home, but they only let her stay for a few weeks before they sent her home.
I am tired. I told someone recently that "it is well with my soul". And it is. It is well with my soul. This is just such tiresome business. This living.
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.fireflyplace.net/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/137
Comments:
I'm sorry about your mom. It sounds like you've had a challenging year. You are in my prayers.
Posted by: Rebekah at December 6, 2006 2:15 AM
Rebekah
I'm so sorry to hear about all that is going on. My prayers are not only for your mom and dad and for Lily, but also you and the rest of the family...that He will continue to give you the strength to deal with everything that is going on.
Hugs to all...and God bless.
Posted by: Bubba at December 6, 2006 12:03 PM
Bubba
I am sorry for all you are having to carry.
I prayed for you as I read.I completely understand what you mean about having things well in your soul and yet being so tired.
((hugs))
Posted by: adustyframe at December 6, 2006 12:06 PM
wow, such heavy things on your heart. I will be keeping you in prayer.
Rest in Him,
God bless you.Jenny
www.homeiswhereyoustartfrom.blogspot.com
Posted by: Jenny in Ca at December 6, 2006 12:46 PM
So sorry to read about your mom's illness. Will be remembering you all in my prayers often.
Posted by: Frances at December 6, 2006 4:48 PM
Take care,
Frances
Tears came reading this...
I am so sorry you have to bear this. It is so, so hard.
Some years ago, I went through a deep valley with a loved one. My world crashed, and I was 'rocked' by it. But I found that Jesus is indeed my Rock. That situation healed. I don't know how yours will. I only know that Emmanuel - "God with us" - came for all this.
Praying for you as I write this...
Posted by: Donna-Jean at December 6, 2006 9:04 PM
I'm so sorry. My mom passed away in July----her problem was hypertension, COPD, emphasema, etc. Her journey home took over 15 years. We finally got her in a nursing home during the last 4 years of her life.
Until you go through this turmoil there is no way to know what it is like. It is a club you DON'T want to belong to.
I prayed long and hard for the Lord to open a door for mom to have the proper care. It finally opened. I will pray for your family that a door will open as well.
Posted by: elementaryhistoryteacher at December 6, 2006 11:08 PM
Wow, that's alot going on all at once. I'm so humbled that anything that I wrote was able to somehow encourage you, as you're journeying through such a dark and difficult time right now, a valley of shadows.
Posted by: beth at December 13, 2006 2:33 PM
Blessings, and rest to you~
Firefly,
Posted by: Kelly at December 14, 2006 12:12 PM
After reading this post I want you to know that I understand what you are experiencing, as my grandmother recently passed away from Alzheimers. It is a terrible, terrible disease that brings hell on earth, not only for the person suffering from Alzheimers, but for everyone close as well. My prayer is that the Lord will bring peace to you during this horrible time, give you clear direction about your mothers care, and show you hope when there seems to be none. Please feel free to email if you want to talk further. You are deeply in our prayers.
>
Adding to everyone else's prayers for peace and strength for you.
Posted by: Mama Squirrel at December 14, 2006 3:42 PM
Praying for you and your family that you will find peace and comfort in the hands of our Heavenly Father.
Posted by: Amy at December 14, 2006 6:35 PM
I am sorry that you are having to endure this. I have another friend here that lives in AR who's mother was shot by someone at a convenience store. My friend was 14 when her mom was shot. She was shot in the head, so she never recovered fully (and is like a very young child). Her father has taken care of her since that day - for soooo many years... and put up with her screaming at night all by himself. It amazes me that we can endure so much sadness and difficulty for those whom we love. The consolation is that one day, she will be in heaven and God is saving up a special treasure for those that sacrafice their selves to love and honor others. Remember your reward... even a cup of cold water is worth treasure in heaven.
Posted by: sprittibee at December 16, 2006 11:00 AM
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. I haven't spoken of my mother on my blog before the last month or so because it just seemed too great a thing to speak of. I have always just kept things a bit "hidden in my heart". I am blessed to have such prayer and support on my behalf during this time. God bless you all and your families.
Posted by: Firefly at December 16, 2006 4:54 PM
Post a comment
(If you haven't used TypeKey identification, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)
